Don't Hold Your Views Too Firmly - Commentary on Balthasar Gracian

Let's take this advice from a master in two chunks:

"Every fool is fully convinced, and every one fully persuaded is a fool: the more erroneous his judgment the more firmly he holds it. Even in cases of obvious certainty, it is fine to yield: our reasons for holding the view cannot escape notice, our courtesy in yielding must be the more recognised."

We are not apt to think of people as fools if we're honest. It's just not good copy. But someone who stubbornly holds the wrong or even a slightly incorrect view is behaving foolishly. Likewise, if you can be talked around by simple rhetoric and not be contained by fact, it doesn't look good. Truth can't be contested. That's why it is called 'fact'.

It is fine to yield even when we're in the right. If someone won't let go of the issue what point would there be in maintaining your (truth-filled) view? In these cases, no matter how right we are, we can still relent and protect a relationship -- if we choose. It all depends on our reasons, for they will be more memorable to onlookers than whether we were wrong or right. We can be 100 percent right and still look like a villain. For trying to 'champion truth' leads easily to 'rudeness' instead...

"Our obstinacy loses more than our victory yields: that is not to champion truth but rather rudeness. There be some heads of iron most difficult to turn: add caprice to obstinacy and the sum is a wearisome fool. Steadfastness should be for the will, not for the mind. Yet there are exceptions where one would fail twice, owning oneself wrong both in judgment and in the execution of it."

Quirkiness is fine for a change and even adds to the humour of a funny situation; folk would not be 'folk' without being quirky. Yet, add quirkiness to pigheadedness and inflexibility and it drives people nuts. We're right in being steadfast when it is right, when all the planets are in alignment, but a fixed mind for the sake of it is a solution to no problem.

View From My Ecuadorian Apartment Window

I started this update yesterday morning. I was sitting writing it at my desk which overlooks the Tomebamba river. The views are fabulous and I think how lucky we are to have such a view. The early part of today was a beautiful sunny 23 degree day. I could see clearly to the mountains. No clouds or rain were on the horizon. You never can tell here - it often rains later in the afternoons, and that is exactly what it did. It absolutely bucketed down in some parts, and the water in the river rose very quickly to its highest level that we have seen since arriving here.

But I digress. In the morning, before it rained, I enjoyed the view and the people-watching. Women were busy washing in the river and a family nearby was washing their taxi cab. The Dad would take the bucket down to the river for water, and then the wife and daughter helped wash the car. I know this makes this place sound like a real third world country but it's not. Not everyone washes their clothes in the river or takes a bucket to collect water to wash their cars. This local custom, as one local mentioned, is also dying out and in the near future you will not see this being done.

I love shopping as it always amazes me at the price on items. Some are the same as at home and others are much cheaper. Here is some shopping trivia: I can now buy 12 roses for $2.25 at the supermarket. The price has actually gone up since we were here in February. A dozen cost me $1.45 then. They are cheaper at the flower markets in the city. And yesterday I bought two large sheets of Xmas paper, two black biros and a packet of sticky labels. The price for this was $1.00. I knew it was not going to be expensive but I was even a little surprised at how cheap this was.

There is really nothing much that I miss from my old home in Australia. My moisturizer may not be available here, but then I just make sure that any friends that come over from the US bring me some. People often ask what the bad things we find here are. Well to be quite honest with you I don't find anything bad. If it's not to my liking then it's my problem. I chose to move here and so I accept everything as it is, and enjoy the changes and challenges.

Unleashing the Humour in Your Life

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." - Will Rogers.

The reality of things is that not everyone laughs at life the same way. This reveals the fact that some people have a higher acceptance of some things in life. Not all fingers in a hand are the same as individuals view things differently. Different folks have got different strokes. What one person thinks of a funny or why that event is funny is called a 'sense.'

Senses are the physiological methods of perception. This would mean that a sense of humour is purely your own personal perspective. Your very own past experience would be a proof of this perspective. If you focus your attention for a moment thinking of all your past experiences in a negative way, you might be stressed out and soon become uncomfortable.

An important lesson is to not be affected by any stressful situation. Treat the situation or event as external and not internal. Try not to be a participant and get affected by the stressful circumstance. Instead of falling into the trap of wallowing in self-pity or getting into the vicious habit of complaining about life's frustrations, try to take each situation separately and laugh about them. If something is so frustrating or depressing, do not let it affect you. Remember to look back on it and just laugh, picturing in your mind that it's a ridiculous thing. Why do we have to be a victim of those circumstances? Think of how it will sound as a very funny story you could tell to your friends, and then see if you can laugh about it in various forms of laughter. With this shift in attitude, you may also find yourself in a totally different state. You would feel more light-hearted and relaxed. It is important that you are in control of your own circumstances so giving yourself a good laugh and those around you more to laugh about. Approach life in a jolly way and you will find that you are less stressed out by the negative events that occur around you. What would be simply amazing is that you will achieve the health benefits of laughter.